Some Golf Tips – Quotes -Jokes

Golf Tips

1. Remember to have fun — golf is only a game
2. Don’t talk yourself down. Positive self-talk boosts your confidence.
3. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you make bad shots. It happens to everyone.
4. Windy weather? Keep the ball as low as possible – especially at Grande Meadows.
5. Avoid strong grip pressure on the golf club.
6. Create a solid and wide stance. Build your golf swing from the ground up.
7. At the end of a round, sink 25 putts from different spots six feet away. These reps will improve your putting and your score.
8. To keep the ball down, finish with your hands low. To keep the ball in the air, finish with your hands high.
9. Improve your pitching skills by dropping balls around the practice green from far away.
10. Aim for the center of the green and not the flag.

Golf Quotes

1. The best wood in most amateurs bags is a pencil. — Chi Chi Rodriguez
2. It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it one afternoon on the golf course. — Hank Aaron
3. The older I get the better I used to be. — Lee Trevino
4. The trouble with me is I think too much. I always say you have to be dumb to play good golf. — JoAnne Carner
5. It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot. — Nubar Gulbenkian.
6. Mary had a little putt, she needed it for par. Mary had a second putt….the first one went too far! — Margaret Kennard
7. Half of golf is fun: the other half is putting. — Peter Dobereiner
8. Golf is special. It brings a lot of people together. — Mia Hamm
9. Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six , and write down five. — Paul Harvey
10. Golf is a game of coordination, rhythm and grace: women have these to a high degree. — Babe Didrikson Zaharis
11. Hitting the ball is the fun part of it, but the fewer times you hit the ball the more fun you have. — Lou Graham
12. Golf is a game and games are meant to be enjoyed. — Raymond Floyd
13. You need a fantastic memory in this game to remember the great shots and a very short memory to remember the bad ones! — Mac O’Grady
14. After you have the basics down, it’s all mental. — Ken Venturi
15. The course is going to make you look silly sometimes. You have to be able to accept that and move on. — Mike Weir
16. Happiness is a long walk with a putter. — Greg Norman
17. The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight. — Ben Hogan
18. A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at six o’clock and make it go toward 12 o’clock. But make sure you’re in the same time zone. — Chi Chi Rodriguez
19. Golf’s three ugliest words: still your shot. — Dave Marr
20. Always count your blessings. Be thankful you are able to be out on a beautiful golf course. Most people in the world don’t have that opportunity. — Fred Couples
21. Be brave if you lose and meek if you win. — Harvey Penick
22. The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. — Billy Graham
23. I learned something very important early on: You accept what happens and move on. In other words, if I hit a bad shot, I can’t change it. There is only the next shot. That was a big lesson. — Billy Casper
24. I don’t care how good you play, you can find somebody who can beat you, and I don’t care how bad you play, you can find somebody you can beat. — Harvey Penick

Golf Jokes

1. Golf appeals to the child in all of us. This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5.
2. The person who takes up golf to get their mind off work soon takes up work to get their mind off golf.
3. If I hit it right it’s a slice. If I hit it left it’s a hook. If I hit it straight it’s a miracle.
4. Golf is like life — you strive for the green but end up in the hole.
5. Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, sold by the dozen and a week later you have to buy some more.
6. G.O.L.F. — Getting Old and Living Fine!
7. The only problem with golf is that the slow people are in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.
8. Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie well.
9. The game of golf is 90% mental and the other 10% is in your head!
10. What’s the easiest shot in golf? Your fourth putt.
11. I didn’t miss the putt, the ball just missed the hole.
12. Golfer: “What’s wrong with my game?” Coach: “You’re standing too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.”
13. It’s often necessary to hit a second drive to really appreciate the first one.
14. In golf, you can hit a 2 acre fairway 10% of the time but hit a 2 inch branch 90% of the time.
15. Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddie because it cannot count, criticize or laugh.
16. What’s the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? If a golfer lies, he doesn’t have to bring anything home to prove it.
17. Two longtime golfers were standing overlooking the river. One golfer looked at the other and said, “Look at those fools fishin’ in the rain.”
18. Golf was once a sport for the rich but now it has millions of poor players!
19. There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces and bounces just the way you meant to play it.
20. Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointment.
21. A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.